How do you explain Easter to a child without utterly confusing the poor kid?
“Dad, why do we get Easter eggs?”
“Well, buddy, there was this bloke called Jesus a very long time ago and he got crucified by some bad people…” “What’s crucify?” “It’s totally metal. They made him carry around a big wooden cross and then nailed him to it… actually I should tell you another time.”
“Where do Easter eggs come from?”
“Well, a long time ago, people saw eggs as being representative of Jesus dying and then coming back to life. But some other people gave out Easter eggs because it was the end of winter and people wanted to celebrate.”
“A party?”
“Yes! That’s right.”
“Did people dress up as Spiderman?”
“No. But some people might dress up like a rabbit.”
“Do rabbits make eggs?”
“No. Someone made up a story a long time ago that a special rabbit called the Easter Bunny would give you a egg if you were a good boy. So be good. Rabbits don’t lay eggs. But they are associated with fertility, which means having lots of children. I’ll explain that later as well. Before you were a boy, you were an egg. Does that make sense?”
“How many eggs are you going to buy me?”
“How many do you want?”
“A HUNDRED! A HUNDRED EGGS!”
That went well.
